Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
