He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize