half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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