Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize