i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
