If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
