i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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