So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
