ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
