Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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