She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
