It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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