dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
