Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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