This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
