Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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