Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
