well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
