you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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