I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
