i don't like sucking hair
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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