I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
