So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
