I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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