somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My first STD was from a foam party
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
