i jhust puked up my retainher.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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