so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize