imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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