I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
