Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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