So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
