thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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