And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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