You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
