4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
