Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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