hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
