nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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