Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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