oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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