this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
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