Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
