worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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