Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
