Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
