I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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