Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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