Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
