no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
