In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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