Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize