So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
