I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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