I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
