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As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
