Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
