Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
