i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
