ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
