who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
