I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
