it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
No subtext here. People are naked.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
