i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
