Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
