Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize