Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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