bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Is Oprah even human
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
