Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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