Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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