Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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