i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
