So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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