First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We need to get me chipped asap
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