haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
